Radioactive and ready to go, I slept until 9:30 am on April 3rd. I didn't have to report to Duke until 11:30 or so. Problem was I couldn't eat or drink anything past midnight the night before. I already weighed nothing from the stress of the past month (don't worry, I have made up for it since then), but needless to say when my surgery was running over an hour late, I was about to pass out in the waiting room. I finally was taken back around 1:20 pm and changed into my gown and was taken into what seemed like a cattle call for surgeries. I have never seen a group waiting room full of hospital beds and
IV's. The worst part, family couldn't come back there. They make you wait with all these strangers! Luckily when I started crying (that always works), the nurse let Nathan come back and wait with me :) I was hooked up to my IV, asked numerous random questions and then the anesthesiologist came back to talk with me. With the type of surgery I was having, I could either have local anesthetic or general. I think when the doctor realized the
spaz I was, he tossed out the idea of local and said "knock this girl out. She needs something strong"
Haha. I agreed. At this point, the last thing I needed was to be semi awake in this situation. Plus I was informed that the plastic surgeon coming into repair the hole that would be left in my leg would need a skin graft from somewhere and that was an entire other procedure.
I was given all the scary news, I may have a drain in my leg when I wake up. I may have a skin graft taken from my other leg. I was given all the worst case
scenarios and then they decided I probably needed some nice calming drugs. At that point, I was
ok with things and although I was STARVING, sleep sounded more appealing. Right before I went into surgery, my surgeon and all his residents (It's totally like Grey's Anatomy at Duke), came in and he told me that his very own wife had almost the exact same situation as me 16 years ago. She had a melanoma on her lower leg and she had the same surgery as me. She is perfectly healthy and great today. What a great word to hear right before I went it. I felt so blessed to have a doctor that not only is the number one cancer surgeon at Duke, but a man who had experienced this with his very own wife. I kissed my hubby goodbye and was slowly rolled into the operating room. I didn't have my contacts in and all I remember is seeing this room painted with swimming fish all over the walls. Was I in the pediatric OR? Oh well, the nurse kept calling my name and the first two times I turned to look at her. After that, I didn't hear a thing.
I woke up as I was being rolled into the recovery room. My first thought: What a good anesthesiologist. He has some good timing for those drugs. I woke up just in time!
Haha. I couldn't feel anything I was placed in another holding room with other people on crazy post surgery drugs. I remember looking over at the guy next to me. He was such a whiner. The whole time he was in there, he kept calling for the nurse telling her he was in a lot of pain. She came up and asked me my pain level and I said "I feel great, I
don't know what his problem is"
HAHAHA. Like I said, good doctors. Once I was a little more coherent, Nathan and my mom came in to see me. They told me that everything had gone superb. There were no drains in my legs. The skin graft was taken from the same spot as the lymph node. So I had the best situation possible. PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!! The doctor also told my mom that the lymph node appeared very normal and he still felt like the chances of it being anywhere else were very low. I stayed in the cattle call room for about 90 minutes and then got transported to my room for the night.
That room was interesting as well. It was a semi private room for people to recover. So, there were walls on either side of me, but just a curtain in the front and there were 10 or so rooms like that to my right. I was in the first room. Best part; snacks whenever you want!!! I gladly helped myself to some pudding, applesauce, crackers ad ginger ale.
Ahhhhh. Kind of like cheap room service. I had this big cast on my leg to keep my leg from moving because of the location of the surgery. The plastic surgeon had done a purse string
sutcher around the hole and then covered the rest of the open skin with skin from my thigh. I also had a piece of gauze over the area on my upper thigh. All in all, I felt pretty good that night. My
besties Linda and Alisa, and my pastor and his wife came to visit. It was a fun night of talking and laughing until I was finally ready for bed around 10. By this point, the good drugs had well worn off and I was ready for something to sleep. I took my
meds and eventually (like around 1 am) fell asleep. My poor sweet husband slept on this horrible chair that didn't even fold out. I sat there awake as he tossed and turned trying to find some sort of comfort.
Ahhhh the things they do for us. I am so blessed!
I got to go home the next day after I could show the physical therapist that I could go up and down stairs on crutches. That was a bit of an ordeal. I had some strange response to my IV being taken out where my blood pressure dropped real low and I felt for the first time in my life like passing out completely. It was miserable. I got all hot and sweaty, dizzy and nauseous.
EWWWW. After an entire can of coke, I was feeling a little better and ready to attack the crutches head on. It was definitely a bit challenging with a 5 pound weight on my ankle and another sore spot on my upper thigh of the same leg. But I
succeeded in my quest and showed that my trainer Brenna had done a pretty good job with my
scrawny upper body :)
When I was resting, Nathan had been out in the hallway trying to take a nap when he couldn't help but overhear another man on his cell phone. He was talking to someone about his wife who was just down the hall. She had been admitted that morning after they learned cancer had spread to her brain and she was having a hard time with mental clarity. Nathan felt called to ask the man about his wife once he was off the phone. The man said his wife had breast cancer a year or so ago, but they had believed to had gotten it all. The past couple days she was having some problems with vision and clarity, so they came in for an appointment. She had a CT scan and just minutes before had learned that the original cancer was now in her brain. Her husband was heartbroken. They had 2 teenage sons and they had not even told them yet. Nathan told the man about my situation and explained that we were about to go home, but that he would like to pray for his wife. Nathan came in to ask if I would like to join him. OF COURSE!!! I will never forget Nathan pushing my in my wheel chair down the hallway. It was a moment in my life where I had an entire new understanding for people. I had
experienced just a touch of what this lady was experiencing and yet I felt like we were connected in some way. In my
hospital gown, my glasses and and my wheel chair I was another woman facing something far bigger than anyone should face. For the first time, I felt what it was like to be in a cancer hospital dealing with things far bigger than my maturity level. I realized, it doesn't matter how old you are. You are never ready to deal with such big things. But somehow, God gives you the grace to do it and you suddenly realize, life is so much bigger than you ever thought it was. We stood around her hospital bed and my husband prayed over her as we all believed for
complete health and restoration. I knew my prognosis was much better than
hers and felt a sort of guilt knowing that I was about to go home and she was just beginning another process that may take her life. We could see the
gratefulness in her husband's eyes as we said goodbye. His eyes were so helpless. The love of his life was sick and he was
devastated.
I thank God as often as I can for that experience. As we joined together believing for health for this woman, we saw a glimpse of this world that exists, yet so many of us are unaware as we go through each day with our good health and healthy families. We forget about so many people sitting in
hospitals waiting, praying for just a little good news. Over the next few days at home, I couldn't help but wish she could go home too. How terrible it must feel to be there not knowing what the next step would be. On a
hospital floor in Durham, North Carolina sat so many people fighting for their lives. How blessed I was to be at home, healing...............
