Ever since Nathan and I got married, we have made Friday night our date night. We rarely miss it and it's our favorite time of the week to spend time together and just talk about life. We have been to numerous restaurants, had plenty of good food and conversation and enjoyed the past 3 years of date nights together. However, out of all the many Friday night date nights we have experienced, we had our best one yet last Friday.
Friday February 26th, 2010 at 7:43 p.m., we were blessed with the greatest gift in our lives. Our baby boy Jack Matthew Gooden was born into the world. It was the day our lives changed forever and a day I will never forget. I thought I would write his birth story down, so I could look back and remember everything about the day our baby boy arrived.....
Thursday, February 25th I had a doctor's appointment. Miserable, and so done being pregnant, I was hoping something had changed. I had been 1 cm dialated and 50% effaced for almost a month at this point. Nathan and I went into the doctor to be told.....NOTHING had changed. I was still 1 cm dialated and still 50% effaced. The baby wasn't any lower and it looked like things were going to stay the same for a while. I got in the car and started crying, literally praying God would help get my baby out! Now I can look back and laugh at that day, but at the time I was literally desperate. Everything hurt. I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to eat and I had been through 3 weeks of "false labor" almost every night. I was sad, uncomfortable and had really lost the joy of being pregnant. That night Nathan and I turned on the TV to watch the Olympics for the night. The figure skaters were on and I was so excited to watch. But after about an hour of trying to sit, stand, lay or find any position where I was comfortable, I finally looked at Nathan and said "I am going to have to go to sleep. I can't find any comfortable position and I am so miserable that maybe if I can just fall asleep I won't have to feel so bad anymore." So, around 11:00 p.m. I turned off the figure skating and actually fell asleep rather quickly. The hours from 11:00 p.m to 3:00 a.m. were filled with very restful sleep! I didn't wake up once.......until 3:00 a.m.
I woke to the usual discomfort around 3:00 a.m. and figured it was yet again false labor. I was grateful for the 4 hours of sleep I had and like most nights knew the discomfort would go away if I just sat up to sleep for the rest of the night. So I pulled myself up and propped up my pillows like usual. But after about 25 mnutes, I realized the pain wasn't going away. Even more unusual, I noticed the pain was actually coming in the form of what I thought were contractions. Every other night it was more of a constant pain, but it always went away if I changed positions. At this point I was just annoyed. I was tired and I wanted to sleep. I started watching the clock and realized I was actually getting contractions about every 7 to 9 minutes. Hmmmm, I still wasn't convinced it was anything real. I waited through the contractions until 5:00 a.m. when I decided to wake up Nathan. They were now coming every 5 to 7 minutes apart and getting a little more painful. I couldn't lay down through them anymore. Once Nathan was up (sort of, mostly still asleep), I thought maybe a warm bath would stop everything and I could go back to sleep again. So, I got in the bath. As I sat there waiting for everything to calm down, the contractions continued. Every 5 minutes, it returned. I got out of the bath and realized that some contractions were now coming every 2 minutes apart. I wasn't getting much of a break anymore.
At this time I was still in denial that this was anything real. I asked Nathan if he thought we should call the on-call doctor. By about 7:00 a.m., we decided to call and just see what he thought about the situation. The doctor on-call turned out to be the dr. I had seen the day before. I told him that I thought I was having contractions now every 2 to 5 minutes apart for 4 hours. He didn't seem too concerned yet (probably because he thought I was that first time Mom with more false labor and he had seen me the day before and nothing seemed to be happening then.) So, he said to wait until 8:00 a.m. and go into the office to be checked when it opened. I was a little mad because I then realized I would have to wait another hour at home with contractions every five minutes that were to the point that I couldn't walk or talk through them.
So, I put on some clothes, gathered my hospital bags and waited. Nathan got dressed and we watched some TV to pass the time as he talked me through contractions. At 8:00 a.m. we called and we were out the door by 8:15 a.m. Now, I seriously was still in denial that this was labor. I was in such denial that I said to Nathan "Hopefully they can give me something to help stop this pain. They can't just leave me like this, right? I need some sort of medication" Hahaha. I was more concerned about getting some medication to stop this pain than actually thinking this could be labor. When we got to the office, they took us in and checked me in between contractions. I was 3 cm dialated and almost 80% effaced!!!! PROGRESS!!! The doctor said "Yes, you are in labor. You get to go to the hospital." Let me just tell you, I was so convinced I was that girl that was going to be sent back home as they said "Ummmm no, this is not labor at all. You are just a big wimp who can't handle the end of pregnancy." It was so nice to hear that what I was feeling had actually been real labor for 5 hours.
The doctor left the room and we looked at each other and realized we were going to have a baby today. OH MY GOSH!!!!! NO WAY!!! That explained why I was in so much misery the day before. Our little man was just preparing to make his debut. We drove across the street to the hospital (thank goodness it's across the street, because getting through contractions while sitting in the car is not fun at all). We checked in and I was taken to my room where I met my nurse Lauren. She looked more like she would be one of my friends then a nurse. She was probably around my age, engaged and so sweet. I felt immediately blessed and comfortable knowing she would be with me all day. I got hooked up to all the monitors and then the doctor came in to check me again. I was already 4 to 5 cm dialated and in active labor at this point. By 10:30 a.m. I had been in labor for 7 hours and funny enough, was still debating on the epidural at the time. Don't get me wrong, during the actual contractions I was in some pretty bad pain. But in between I could rest for a few minutes and really could still get through them on my own. But after discussing it with my nurse and doctor, we decided now was a pretty good time to get the epidural. Mostly because I would have to sit still through any contractions and as labor gets more intense, that would get more difficult to do.
About 15 minutes later, the drugs arrived!! Now, I have always heard horror stories about the epidural. And I am usually that girl that practically hyperventilates to get my blood taken. I don't know whether it was just being in labor itself, or a miraculous moment, but the epidural didn't scare me at all. It wasn't painful and actually was really easy for me. It wasn't until later that Nathan told me how large the needle was and that he couldn't believe it didn't bother me. Once that was taped and set, I was able to lay back down and wait for the magic medicine to do it's job! It took a little longer than expected, mainly because I am tall and Lauren said it has to metabolize through the entire lower half of my body. Slowly, my toes started to tingle, then my legs, then they started to go numb. My legs felt nothing, my uterus was still feeling everything. Luckily, after about 30 minutes it did the trick and I wasn't feeling contractions at all. A few minutes later my doctor came in and broke my water. We watched the contractions increase big time on the monitor and I realized I was so glad I got the epidural when I did.
Unfortunately, as the pain of the contractions left, a new pain showed up. I apparently pulled a couple muscles around my left rib cage during labor. Yeah, of course of all times to pull a muscle, this wouldn't have been my first choice. So I had terrible rib pain that the epidural coudn't touch. I changed positions every few minutes and nothing took the pain away. I was so frustrated knowing that if the rib pain wasn't there, I would be enjoying this experience. We tried heat packs, cold packs, massage etc. The heat helped some and my poor nurse did everything she could to help me be more comfortable. They couldn't give me anything because what they would prescribe would go straight to the baby. So I came to the conclusion that I was just going to have to deal with it. We prayed and prayed for the pain to be taken away and Praise God after about 3 hours, it subsided significantly. By 4 :00 p.m. I realized that the hours had just flown and I was grateful for that part. I had now been in labor for 13 hours. The doctor came back in to check me and I was still sitting at 6 1/2 cms. I about cried. I was exhausted, starving and felt like I had quit making any progress. The doctor said he would give it another hour and if nothing changes, they would start me on pitocin to speed up the labor. I spent that next hour turning from side to side, changing positions and when he came back to check me again I was almost 9 cms!!!! I was so excited and so grateful.
My doctor was scheduled until 5 p.m and when 5 p.m. came with no baby, he had to leave. I was sad but the next doctor on call, Dr. Henderson was coming in and he had been great as well. Last year after I miscarried our first baby, it was him who called me from the office and said "There is no reason why we won't be at the hospital in a year delivering your healthy baby." I will never forget those words and I thought how ironic, here we are in the hospital one year later and he is going to deliver my baby.
It was about 10 minutes after I was checked that I noticed I was feeling a little bit of the contractions again. It started out pretty mild, but with each contraction I started to feel more and more. I told my nurse it was getting pretty uncomfortable considering at this point I was contracting every 1 to 2 minutes. Within 15 more minutes, I felt EVERYTHING. I went from comfortable to miserable so quickly. The pain was horrible. My nurse called the anesthesiologist and they decided for some reason, my epidural had quit working. They didn't know why, but it completely stopped. UMMMM I had not really planned to see what true hard labor felt like...... BUT I GOT THAT LOVELY EXPERIENCE ANYWAY!!! 9 1/2 cms, contracting every 1 to 2 minutes and let me tell you, it's amazing how much pain your body can create. What was worse was the fact that I knew I would have to hold still while another epidural was administered. I was in so much pain I didn't know if that was possible. But I had no choice. So they called in a second nurse to help hold me in place because I was practically in constant contractions which meant I would have to sit up perfectly still through numerous contractions. It was the most painful few minutes of my life. I seriously thought I couldn't hold still long enough to get the epidural in. Thank goodness I did it and after another 10 minutes or so, it was working!!! The only negative: my legs were so numb, I couldn't move them anymore. The nurse had to move me around and that wasn't the most comfortable feeling. But I guess at that point it's a choice: Extreme pain, or extreme numbness. I'll take being numb.
Finally at 6:20 p.m., the nurse told me I was fully dialated and ready to push!!!! I was so happy and yet so scared. I didn't know if I had the energy it would take at this point. I had been in labor for 16 hours with no food and no sleep. I knew if I couldn't get this baby out, I would end up in the OR with a C-section. So, with completely numb legs, I gave it my full effort. I pushed 3 times in every contraction for an hour and 20 minutes. It was definitely mind over matter because after each time I really didn't know if I could keep going. I had worked out for most of my pregnancy and all I can say is thank goodness for that. Without my training sessions, I don't know if I would have had the strength to get through what felt like the hardest workout I have ever had. I also could not have done it without my 2 coaches, my amazing husband and my friend Linda. Nathan was incredible. He encouraged me telling me I could do it every time. With every push he lifted my back for me and coached me the entire time. After an extremely long day for him, he stood by my bed for an hour and a half , never leaving my side, coaching me through every second. I am so blessed. My mom was on a plane and we knew she would probably miss the birth. I so wish she could have been there. (She arrived about 2 hours after Jack was born.) Linda stood in as my second coach and she was amazing as well. Not only did she help me through it all, but she took pictures for us the entire time. Without her being there, we woudln't have the precious memories of the birth of our baby boy. Thank you so much Linda!
With my final few pushes and all the strength I had left, at 7:43 p.m. our beautiful baby boy came into the world. I remember looking at the doctor holding him thinking "That's one big baby. I can't believe he was in my belly!" It was absolutely amazing and at that very moment I realized it was worth every second: all the days of nausea, all the weight gain, all the discomfort, all the stretch marks, all the hours of labor, all of everything. It was worth it. Jack wasn't breathing very well at first so Nathan didn't get to cut the cord and I didn't get to hold him right away. But it's ok, because he turned out just perfect. He never had to leave the delivery room and after about 5 minutes Nathan brought him over to me to see for the first time. He laid this heavy baby on my chest and I still coudn't quite believe I pushed him out. It was the hardest thing I had ever done and the best thing I had ever done. Nathan and I just saw there looking at him in amazement at God's creation.
It has been 2 weeks since that amazing day. I am exhausted, but in love with this precious baby. I see myself and Nathan in him and sometimes I still just look at him in amazement. He is the best gift we could have ever received. The name Jack means God is gracious. The name Matthew means Gift of God. That says it all. Through the miscarriage, the cancer and everything along the way, he is a gracious gift from God. Thank you Lord for this baby boy. We can only pray we are the parents he deserves and that we never take a moment for granted.
So, almost every Friday night of our marriage, around 7:43 p.m. we are out to dinner enjoying each other and relaxing after the week. On Friday, February 26th at 7:43 p.m., we were having our best date night ever. There wasn't any food, and I certainly wasn't dressed up. But I am not sure there will ever be another Friday night date night that tops that one. We love you Jack Matthew. We can't wait to enjoy life with you and watch you grow!
Jack Matthew Gooden
Born February 26th, 2010 at 7:43 p.m.
8 pounds 14 ounces, 22 inches long
BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
